How does your desire progress? How does your pleasure come about? Without an intimate knowledge of oneself, it isn’t easy to develop fully with the other—a small initiatory journey to better identify your areas of shadow and light.
Show your film
Exercise of Pilar Lopez, a sophrologist is specializing in sexology.
Erotic daydreams are a great way to identify the paths that lead to pleasure and the obstacles that stand in the way, such as inhibitions or unfulfilled desires. Choose a moment of solitude and a calm and pleasant place. Let yourself go to sweet drowsiness, then imagine that you are in front of a door that opens on “the land of pleasure,” a place where all fantasies are allowed. See as much detail as possible. Sit in a corner that mainly attracts you and let someone come to you: your erotic partner. Please pay attention to how it looks, what it gives off, as well as your emotions and feelings. Savor the ingredients of this first meeting (contact, smells, looks, caresses), then make love with this person in any way you want, without censorship or taboo. Then split up, make your way back and close the door behind you. Then ask yourself these questions: what did I learn about myself? What did I like or find exciting? What are my “brakes”? What do I want to change in my sexuality, and how could I do it? You can make a new movie as many times as you wish.
Discover the water games
Sylvain Mimoun’s practice, gynecologist and psychosomatician.
Enveloping, soothing water has the power to connect us to our “global body” in a reassuring way. In the shower, first, let the water run along your body from head to toe, then focus on its path. Then direct the jet, step by step, at a part of your anatomy and focus on that part. Welcome without discrimination the images, sensations, and emotions that it gives you. Finally, go in search of pleasant sensations by exploring, without restrictions, all the possibilities …
(Black) list your negative beliefs
The practice of Alain Héril, sex therapist and psychotherapist.
Limiting beliefs, complexes, prejudices, bad experiences… These cultural or personal breaks are, in the field of sexuality, significant parasites. To neutralize them, it is essential to identify them. To do this:
- Bring paper and a pencil.
- Start by closing your eyes, take a deep breath, relax your shoulders and stomach.
- Once you feel available, write “sex” or “sexuality” at the top of the sheet.
- In automatic writing style, jot down any negative ideas about sexuality in general and yours in particular.
- Don’t stop until you feel like you’ve emptied your bag.
- Underline in red those which, in your opinion, hinder your sexual development.
On the report… Hite!
Another exercise proposed by Sylvain Mimoun
This exercise requires an “accessory,” the Hite * report, a survey of three thousand women, which is a sweeping panorama of female desire and pleasure. An educational reading: not only does it relativize the anxiety-provoking question of normality, but it can also be a source of inspiration and help remove prohibitions. If the first hundred pages of testimonials concern masturbation, it is still taboo for women. However, without masturbation, there is no actual knowledge of one’s “pleasure pattern.” It is therefore advisable to read them and then question his relation to it to alleviate it finally.